* Dad: Son, what do you want for your 18th birthday? Son: Just a radio, dad... With a sports car around it.

* What did the elf use to make him taller? He used elf raising flour.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
* What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look, I'm changing.
* How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
* Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word 'analyze' in it. * Pupil: My sister Anna lies in bed until nine o'clock.
* Which soldiers smell of salt and pepper? Seasoned troopers.
* Who was the first underwater spy? James Pond.
* What dog smells of onions? A hot dog.
* Who's been eating my porridge?"" asked baby bear. ""Who's been eating my porridge?"" asked mother bear. ""Burp"" said father bear.
* Brian: (eating his lunch at school)Teacher, I've got a bone stuck in my throat. Teacher: Are you choking? Brian: No, I'm serious.
* Mother: So what have you learned on your first day at high school? Son: Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.
* What do you get if you cross a palm tree with a frog? A croakanut.
* What is green and sings in the garden? Elvis Parsley.
* What is the opposite of minimum? Minidad.
* Why did Cinderella get dropped from the football team? She ran away from the ball.
* What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
* Where does a horse go when he gets sick? The horspital.
* Where does a duck go when he gets sick? The ductor.